how do you talk to someone who doesn’t want you to breathe

June 10, 2010

May. 6th, 2009 | 06:37 pm

those people you sometimes see, where a fist punches you in the chest and your walk falters a little, your heart sputters. you struggle like a spooked cat.

there are still songs that remind me of how I felt once years ago as if I were sent back there.
it sort of feels like… sitting in an old 70’s style office chair in a musty room… stained yellow with age, waiting for someone or something, and watching the dust pieces dance around sun rays… coming from in between the individual strips on some brown-colored blinds. yeah, a lot like that, and listening to these songs.
on the inside, it feels like everything after the moment i last remember listening to this song [the present, the now] was erased for a second. and i can see it clearly. it is just like being back there, the past, again.and it’s strange, awkward like you fidget a little in a chair, and you want to leave but  you aren’t sure if they’re just around the corner and about to walk into the room. it feels weird to breathe dust in the middle of a room.

sometimes i think about opening a window, see what would happen, if the light would change when the brown blinds were up higher and a blue sky was showing, would the room turn blue?

it’s different thinking.

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